Elon Musk was never one for ordinary vacations. While most billionaires jetted off to private islands, Elon decided one sunny Tuesday morning that he’d row to Australia – in a camping fridge. Not just any camping fridge, mind you, but a state-of-the-art, solar-powered, carbon-fiber-enhanced contraption capable of chilling six cases of LaCroix while simultaneously streaming episodes of Rick and Morty.
He unveiled his plan on Twitter, naturally:
“Rowing to Australia in a fridge. Because why not?
The tweet went viral. Fans loved it, critics called it a publicity stunt, and environmentalists were just happy it didn’t involve launching anything into the ozone layer. A week later, Elon was at the Santa Monica Pier, clad in a wetsuit adorned with SpaceX and Tesla logos, shoving his camping fridge—dubbed Coolio X-1—into the Pacific Ocean.
“Why a camping fridge?” a reporter asked.
“It’s efficient,” Elon replied with a shrug. “Also, fridges are underrated as vessels of innovation.”
And so, the journey began.
Rowing a fridge was no small feat. The oars, custom-built by Tesla engineers, featured ergonomic grips and a self-lubricating mechanism because “regular oars are too mainstream,” according to Elon. At first, the trip was smooth sailing. The Coolio X-1 bobbed serenely atop the waves, its solar panels glinting in the sun as Elon hummed Rocket Man to himself.
But then came the seagulls.
Elon had forgotten to account for the birds’ curiosity—or their love for snacks. One particularly ambitious seagull mistook the fridge’s solar panels for tortilla chips and dive-bombed. Chaos ensued as Elon swatted at the bird with an oar while trying not to capsize.
“Shoo! This is cutting-edge technology, not a buffet!”
Eventually, the seagull retreated, leaving behind a slightly dented solar panel and a very annoyed Elon.
Three days in, Elon’s supplies ran low. He had packed precisely 42 protein bars (“It’s the meaning of life,” he had explained) and a gallon of kombucha. Unfortunately, the kombucha fermented further in the heat, turning it into something akin to rocket fuel. Desperate, Elon tried fishing but only succeeded in catching an old shoe.
“Resourcefulness is the mother of invention,” he muttered, strapping the shoe to the fridge as a makeshift rudder.
The biggest challenge came when Elon encountered a pod of dolphins. The intelligent creatures seemed to take a liking to the Coolio X-1, swimming alongside and occasionally nudging it. One particularly mischievous dolphin attempted to steal an oar, leaving Elon shouting, “Hey, I’m not adding dolphin rides to the Tesla lineup anytime soon!”
After weeks of rowing, battling sunburn, and engaging in existential conversations with passing albatrosses, Elon finally reached the shores of Australia. Exhausted but triumphant, he dragged the Coolio X-1 onto the beach, where a small crowd had gathered to greet him.
A journalist shoved a microphone in his face. “Mr. Musk, what’s the first thing you’ll do now that you’ve made it?”
Elon grinned, pulling a perfectly chilled can of LaCroix from the fridge. “Drink this, obviously. Then maybe invent something crazier—like a toaster submarine.”
As the crowd cheered, Elon took a sip, proving once again that the line between genius and absurdity is as thin as a fridge door.